Hey there, smarty pants! I'm so glad you found my page! You've come to a fabulous place where you can be a part of an amazing tribe of people with literary and intellectual interests who want to be successful in their professional and personal lives while making a difference in society. If this sounds like you, I invite you to read on!
I started Bluestocking Etiquette with two questions in mind: 1) How can I help shape society so that it's more polite, and 2) How can I best share my knowledge and experiences to help others boost their confidence and achieve their social and professional goals? As to the first question, what happened to civility? The various events, themes, and accepted behaviors that are beginning to define the 2020s are discouraging. And I don't think I'm alone. I think many of us are wondering what the heck is happening in this world. Is civilization entering a downward spiral? And what are the implications for future generations? I believe that through small actions we can create a domino effect that ripples through our networks and promotes a pay-it-forward society, and in turn improves ourselves. Which takes me to the second question.
I used to lack confidence in myself, and I discovered that this had a direct correlation to what I was getting (or not getting) out of life. I was too often intimidated by meeting new people at social gatherings, quiet at conference tables, averting small talk at networking events, and a chronic canceller of plans on friends and family. This lack of confidence stemmed from fear; I was afraid I wouldn't know what to say or how to say it. I was also self-conscious in my appearance; I hated the idea of being judged. It made me feel uncomfortable to know that others would be assessing me. As a result I came off as standoffish and uninterested. My attempts to quell my fears had in fact actualized them.
It can be difficult for more introverted people to be recognized for their accomplishments because they have difficulty being their own advocates. They are sometimes viewed as boring, apathetic, and not team players, when in reality they're highly educated, have diverse interests, and have valuable ideas to contribute. So how did I boost my confidence and become more comfortable in social and professional situations, and start getting what I wanted out of my life? I learned etiquette. It's my goal to help other people gain confidence in themselves and to achieve success however they define it. Bluestocking Etiquette is a relaxed, unpretentious, and fun approach to modern etiquette that teaches people how small, intentional changes in themselves will effect positive outcomes in their lives and their relationships with others, while remaining true to themselves.
I was first introduced to formal etiquette training in college when I was invited to attend an etiquette class. The idea behind the class was to teach upcoming graduates how to act once they got out in the real world and started looking for jobs.
Around that same time I was fortunate to have had several opportunities to observe how professionals from around the world carry themselves in polite society when I would accompany my father on various business related functions, mostly in NYC. These events ranged from formal affairs including concert performances and black tie receptions, to semi-formal business lunches and dinners at some of the finest restaurants in New York City. I'd occasionally accompany him on international business trips as well where I was introduced to various cultures and customs. Participating in these events and conversing and dining with professionals at the tops of their fields gave me invaluable practice in business etiquette.
But knowing what fork to pick up at a twelve course dinner or what type of dress is appropriate for afternoon tea is only a sliver of the large pie that is good etiquette. When it comes down to it etiquette is about respect and consideration for others, and doing what you can to make others feel comfortable and at ease. Today, with society seemingly rife with rudeness, inconsideration, and apathy, the time is now to turn it around and keep respect and courtesy to others at the forefront of our actions.
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