How many times have you depended on someone for something and they didn't come through? Frustrating, isn't it. And how many times have you promised something to someone and you didn't come through? Whoops! Life happens and there are myriad reasons why we cannot, do not, or will not deliver on a promise. But if it becomes habit people question our reliability, and we're branded a flake.
I would argue that more often than not we don’t set out to let people down. In an effort to please others or avoid controversy we may find it easiest to overpromise in the moment. I used to be guilty of this. A lot. I would agree to anything if it pleased someone else or if it avoided conflict. But often what started as a good intention got me into hot water. And not because I couldn’t or didn't deliver. It was because I didn’t effectively communicate and establish expectations.
Reliability is dependent on communication. Failing to meet a deadline or to follow through on a promise is much more forgivable when you've communicated ahead of time that you cannot meet the expectation. Of course there are exceptions, and open communication doesn't guarantee there won't be consequences. But as it relates to reliability communication is key.
Do you think you might be unreliable? Ask yourself the following questions:
Do you say 'yes' to others to avoid confrontation or negotiation, even when you know the ask is unrealistic?
Do you often miss deadlines, or make excuses for missing deadlines?
Do you submit work that you did haphazardly because you ran out of time? (If I only had one more day!)
Do you often cancel plans with others and find punctuality to be your enemy?
If you answered 'yes' to any of these questions, then you might be unreliable. Keep in mind these questions are of my own devising and aren't based on anything but my own experience, but I do think they provide some food for thought.
Now for a few take-aways:
Avoid making promises on the spot. You'll be able to make a better-informed decision when you've given yourself time to assess the scope and timing of the ask. It's also bad form to promise things on behalf of others. You'll want to consult any third parties before you've offered up their time and talents.
Don't lie. If you know a task is going to take you a few days to complete, don't tell your friend, boss, client that you'll have it done tomorrow. You've just set yourself up to fail.
Be open and honest. Communicate openly about what is feasible for you. It's perfectly acceptable to negotiate, and to do it respectfully. If you happen to be running behind, proactively reach out to the person who made the request and let them know you have to adjust the timing. It's better to let them know you'll be late than to be late and not say anything at all.
Manage expectations. When all parties are clear on what is expected, there is less room for disappointment.
Don't make excuses. You know what's worse than not delivering on a promise? Giving a lame-a** excuse. Apologize and move on.
Bottom line: be that someone others can rely on.
Unless you're made out of snow or corn, don't be a flake!
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